Another disappointment....

Well as the title suggests, Cherry Lodge was another disappointment and felt a tad like rock bottom really as the collapse at the end of the round couldn't have been more predictable. It followed the same pattern that every competitive round i've played this year has.
I started for the third out of 4 times this year with a double bogey, rallied well for the next 13/14 holes and then completely screwed up the end of the round. To drop 6 shots in my last 4 holes (including a birdie on the last!!!!!!!!!!) was just crazy! What am I doing???

I'm so close to shooting some decent scores but have developed some kind of mental block in competitions! I finally realised yesterday that my problems aren't technical - they are entirely psychological. The problem is that I can't pinpoint the root of the problem and therefore I can't seem to break these patterns.

Of my 4 tournament rounds this year, I have had 9 double bogeys and 3 triple bogeys! That accounts for 27 of the 31 shots I have been over par and all that damage done in 12 holes out of 72! The fact I've played the other 60 holes in only 4 over par is quite funny really. Ok it's not tour standard golf, but it indicates that I am playing a lot of good solid stuff as I haven't been making many birdies I can assure you! I've got to figure out where and how I can erase these big numbers. This is the challenge and this is the key for me to start shooting lower scores!

I am playing in the Kent Open at KingsHill next week. This is a 36 hole event and I hope it will spark some form for me. I just want to shoot one good score. That's all I feel I need to get over this hurdle and I think more good scores will follow.
One big plus is that the putting changes I have made lately worked a treat yesterday. I made some very nice putts and didn't miss any silly ones. I feel great about that, as it is building my confidence back up on the greens. I know that if I'm putting well I can really shoot good scores.

I won't be deterred from my work-ethics, I've got a week to prepare and basically will continue what I've been doing. From a techincal point of view, i'm in pretty good shape - far better shape that indicated by the scores i've been shooting.

It's a constant grind this game, and the constant knockings of confidence make it harder and harder to bounce back from. However, anyone who knows me will know that I don't quit and I always get to my goals eventually. This is no exception........

Lily and Jack.....

Rach and I went up to Somerset House on Monday night to see Lily Allen in concert and I think I speak on both our behalfs when I say that it was a wicked night and Ms Allen truly rocked the joint!
I was a tad sceptical as I'd heard she wasn't very good live but whoever told me that was talking from the heart of their backside as it couldn't be further from the truth. She certainly went up in my estimation.
The support, Jack Penate, was also brilliant. Considering he's a new face in music, he was great with the crowd and good entertainment too. I'll definitely be keeping an eye out for the album.

Anyways thats enough for 'Lews Music Reviews' this week. We're off back to Somerset House on Friday to see Amy Winehouse and are both looking forward to that immensely (partly owing to the fact it's a Friday night and we can get pissed watching the show!)

Back to the golf, after another disappointing pro-am performance at Hollingbury, I have a pro-am tomorrow at Cherry Lodge golf course (just near Biggin Hill airport). It'll be tricky as I haven't played a practise round there but that can sometimes work to favour. Once again, we'll see how the nerves handle the situation. I'm swinging well, getting better every week I think and am just waiting for something good to happen. It won't happen though until I grasp my nerves better.
I'm a tad excited tonight. I have been reading a Stan Utley book on putting recently and decided to give his unique method a try today while practising and I was knocking putts in from everywhere. It feels unbelievably strange but the results were good. I doubt i'll put this into practise tomorrow as it's a radical change to try in tournament golf straight away but I like the feeling of optimism I came away with as my entire game usual centres around my putting!

We'll see. Gonna keep it brief tonight but will post again in a few days.

Hope all readers are well...

Good news, but not at Tudor!

I meant to say in my last blog that I had an upcoming pro-am tournament at Tudor Park (just outside Maidstone).

It was an interesting experience to say the least as I was paired with 3 non golfers who had absolutely no clue about rules or ettiquette in the game. This isn't a dig at them at all, they didn't know how you are supposed to conduct yourself on a golf course and it was an extremely difficult position I was in, having to continually 'shush' them and tell them to mark their ball on the green, not stand in my line when putting and stand still and quiet whenever you are near somebody else playing a shot.
If I had a pound for every time I had to do one of these things, I reckon I could fund myself on the european tour for a season! I knew I was in for a long day and that it would be an extreme test of my patience and renewed dedication to my temporament I have had recently.
Considering I started double bogey, double bogey on my first two holes, 78 was not a complete embarrasment considering I felt like 'throwing the towel in'! Under normal circumstances I would be extremely disappointed but I was majorly feeling the nerves again. The lack of tournament golf I have played recently is not doing me any good as I keep feeling engulfed by nerves and my own adrenaline. I am able to cope reasonably well with it. Lets face it, it's not like i'm shooting in the 80's or anything. This tells me that if I could just feel more relaxed I could shoot some decent scores. I'll get there, i'm just lacking the practise in that situation this year.

Anyways moving on, I'm extremely excited to say I found out today that I have passed the first year of my PGA Training Programme. I'm extremely relieved as I didnt think I had passed my technology exam so this is very good news. I don't have to worry about year 2 until october so its a stress free couple of months for me now. 2 years to go and i'll be fully qualified which is great, i'm a third of the way there. I guess i'd kind of taken it for granted, but I am definitely 'over the moon'.

For now, it's goodbye from me.....

Career musings....

Hello once more.

My sincerest apologies for the tardiness of this blog. Its been a month now since the last blog, far too long!!

There's been some personal stuff going on but I won't air it as this blog wasn't created for those purposes. All i'll say is that everyone involved has dealt with the situation brilliantly and I know things will be fine in the long run. Can't elaborate more on that!

Rach and I still don't know any more about our house unfortunately, god it seems like this whole thing has been going on forever now but we've come this far, so we'll see it through to the end.

My golf has been decidedly 'iffy' and it's been driving me nuts. It's typical of the game really. Not too long ago I played the steadiest game of my life and then it changes and I lose the plot! I guess that's the thrill of the game really, striving hard to play your best every time.
I must have hit over 1000 practise balls this past week, I've worked really damn hard and thankfully today i've found some answers and I've suddenly become super confident again. I tell you something, noone can accuse me of not dedicating myself to my golf. I've endured time-after-time of playing and practising for literally hours without feeling like i've achieved anything at the end of it so I deserve something good to happen to me. Actually, correct that, I've learned that even with hard work and desire that it still doesn't mean success will be derived from doing so. I'm convinced it must increase your chances though so thats why I stick with it. In a harsh bit of personal reality, all I want to do is play golf for a living and I refuse to accept that it won't happen!
I could do without having to do 3 years of assignments and exams so that I have alternatives if I'm not good enough as a player - which in all honestly I'm perhaps not but I won't accept that till I feel I can't get any better. Truth is, if I can't play golf I don't know where my career interests really lie!
I have been enjoying teaching and i've been studying a lot as I feel that this is perhaps my direction in life - to teach full time and play in every tournament I can. That wouldn't be too bad actually although it would definitely be career choice 'b'!

Oh well, I guess this blog demonstrates that 'life as a pro golfer' isnt always very exciting. This is the reality I've come to realise. However, 2 years time I'll be fully qualified and can do whatever I want to do which'll be great! I can't wait!!!

I think that brings everything up to speed. Till next time......